This is a public diary and a public confession. Its the story of Mike Gibbons-Camp, a 30 year old legal aid attorney who on August 23, 2007 weighed in at 392.8 lbs. Thanks to the constant support of my wife, Liz, and a kick in the pants by a good friend who I hadn't talked to for a while, I finally decided that enough was enough. But instead of quietly suffering with my weight, I started my blog, "New Me?"

I did really well for 10 weeks, then it completely fell apart. I was in denial for a long time, thinking I was just slipping up a bit, making a mistake here or there. But the reality was that I had failed.

Since then i've tried just about everything I could to get back on the wagon. And i've done well for a week here, a week there, but nothing lasting. So I don't know what to tell a new reader to my blog, but "welcome, and wish me luck."

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

a touch of pessimism

I can't point any any specific reason, but I feel as if I've lost ground since yesterday. Nothing specific, so in theory it could all be in my head. But, for lack of a better term, i feel fat today, where I didn't yesterday.

Could be that I just didn't sleep well or have the right sort of dreams. I've never had nyquil hit me like that before. I was fine for about an hour, and then all of a sudden I could barely make it up stairs and into bed before passing out. I don't even remember Liz coming home at all, though she says she woke me up enough to make me give her back her pillow.

And of course, this is the first day since the diet started that I haven't weighed myself, so it could just be paranoia setting in.

Because I really didn't do anything yesterday that would have caused me to gain weight back. I was well under on points, over my goal on fiber, and had plenty of water. (I was drinking water constantly yesterday to keep my throat from clogging up.) I did a treadmill workout both yesterday morning and today, plus a weight lifting workout last night.

So why are my clothes feeling tighter and why is getting out of the car feeling more difficult? Isn't it supposed to be going the opposite way?

Oddly enough, Liz actually commented on my shirt this morning, saying it was fitting me better. But then she's been known to give me positive feedback even where it is not in the strictest sense accurate.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

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