This is a public diary and a public confession. Its the story of Mike Gibbons-Camp, a 30 year old legal aid attorney who on August 23, 2007 weighed in at 392.8 lbs. Thanks to the constant support of my wife, Liz, and a kick in the pants by a good friend who I hadn't talked to for a while, I finally decided that enough was enough. But instead of quietly suffering with my weight, I started my blog, "New Me?"

I did really well for 10 weeks, then it completely fell apart. I was in denial for a long time, thinking I was just slipping up a bit, making a mistake here or there. But the reality was that I had failed.

Since then i've tried just about everything I could to get back on the wagon. And i've done well for a week here, a week there, but nothing lasting. So I don't know what to tell a new reader to my blog, but "welcome, and wish me luck."

Friday, June 4, 2010

Three weeks in

So the good, I've lost 20 lbs in the first three weeks that I've been a member of TOPS.


That still leaves me at an astoundingly high number that no human ever weigh, but I'm ok with that.

I'm not making any progress this week, which sucks. I mean, I knew I'd hit a slow patch soon, but from 7 lbs a week to 0 this half week is more than a little depressing.

All in all things are going well. TOPS hasn't sent me my membership info yet, and frankly I think the meetings are the only real benefit I'm going to get from that program. I plan to stick to my own food-plan so long as it is working for me. The TOPS national encourages this thing using "exchanges" like, for lunch you get one meat exchnage and two vegitable exchanges, etc. I'm pretty happy just counting calories and trying to have a vague sense of balance for now, when I lose some of the extra weight or (yeah right) I'm ever at a point that I'm just maintaining a weight instead of struggling to lose, then I'll focus more on balance and vitamins and such.

Current weight - 403
Current loss to date - 20
Goal - 220
distance to goal - 183

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

TOPS update

Ok, so the TOPS meeting came and went...and the highlights are:

- I actually made myself go

- I was the only male in attendance (not surprising I guess), and only one of two under 50 (more surprising) with the median age falling in the late 60's at least.

- The people (about 15 or so) were very friendly, and seemed supportive, and they had some fun ideas. Perhaps a little preachy (as in bible, not preachy about diets....for example we said the lord's prayer to close the meeting), but I can live with that.

- No focus/emphasis on any specific diet plan, the group is much more of a support group/social gathering than any sort of learning experience.... but that's really what I wanted most out of it, not another diet plan. I have a diet plan that I think works for me, if I have the motivation to keep to it.

I'm still feeling mostly desperate and depressed... but maybe with a hint of optimism.

Monday, May 10, 2010

2010

Well, I've deleted the porn ads and the other spam from my comments.

And I'm going to check out a local TOPS chapter tomorrow.

I think I may be ready to try yet again (what is this, take 72 or so?)

Abby's almost 2 now. If I want to be around to see her turn 4 I don't have any time left to waste. So I've got to be all in.

When I've temporarily resurrected this blog in the past I've been overly optimistic and hopeful. Now I'm just desperate. So I'll do what I can, what worked, if briefly in the past.

And more than the blog, more than the foodlog, or the "points" or any goals or challenges I set for myself, what worked in the past was a competition. I had a friendly e-mail wager going for most lost pounds, and by god I won it. Competition is what I was lacking every time I tried to restart the blog or tried to restart my food log.

That's where TOPS comes in. I stumbled on this today, and sure enough there's a Chillicothe chapter, and they meet on Tuesdays.

I'll report back here on how it goes.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

crazy crazy weekend

Ok, so I hardly know where to begin. This has been an excessively up and down weekend. I've been all over the place mentally, nutrition-ally, and even physically.

The short version - since my last post I've [in no particular order and no implications should be read into the order that anything appears] ....

had two flat tires in my car (the second one while I still had the spare on, forcing me to have the car towed across town to the tire store), been away for my office's semi-annual retreat, had my 6th anniversary, found out that someone I care about has cancer, got drunk for the first time in at least a year, went to a play at the Z-ville Community Theater, finished preparing the garden bed, started reading a fairly exciting new novel, said goodbye to a coworker who left us for another office, gotten sick, learned a couple of excellent new recipes, tried to help console a friend who was going through a relationship issue, visited with my parents and my in-laws, had dinner at the restaurant my in-laws have just opened in my home town, and generally have been running myself ragged.


Some of these require stories, and we'll get to them when I have time to do them justice.

I won't post any details on the person with cancer, because its not my story to share... I will only say it isn't me or Liz. I only mention it at all because the news itself has had a substantial impact on my mental state this weekend. I haven't really processed exactly how this news has or will continue to impact me, and am wholly unprepared to even attempt to put it into words at this stage. I guess I'm still somewhat in shock over the whole thing.



For now, I'm here, I survived my weekend, and I'm still on plan. I haven't done a very good job of recording (bad), but I think I've stayed under on points all but one day. The dozen or so drinks I had Friday clearly count as the worst thing I had to "eat" for the weekend, though the blizzard I split (different day) with a coworker is a close second. Beyond those two things I am proud of how closely I followed my plan and how well I chose foods.


One thing I had that was new to me and I will definitely try to replicate was a squash and zucchini salad. It was basically slices of raw (very young) yellow squash and zucchini with red onions, tomato wedges, and apple slices with a sweet, lemony, and herb-y vinaigrette. Think pasta salad only replacing the pasta with squash and zucchini, making it lower calorie and higher protein. And very tasty too.


Monday evening I tried my hand at homemade fajitas, which were quite tasty. I'd never tried doing them at home... but they turned out a lot healthier than going out because 1) I controlled what went in them, and limited the oils (and only used good oils at that) and cut out the salt altogether. I also did not sit and have a basket of chips and salsa waiting for my meal to come to the table either.



The other thing I did this weekend was to come up with my new longer term goal. Programwide (aka office retreat) happens every six months. When I started this blog I only had about six weeks before Programwide, and therefore hadn't made much progress yet. Then I completely fell apart and went to the Spring programwide heavier than I was at the one last Fall. So this Fall my goal is to show up noticeably slimmer er, make that less fat. To that end, I figure I need to aim to lose an average of 10 pounds a month, counting from the 15th of May.


So, I'll weigh in again tomorrow morning, and set my individual month goals accordingly.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

the never ending cycle of mowing

So I've kept my food log for a week, and stayed under point limits for each day this week!

Tonight I had to mow, a job that I tend to put off as long as I think I can get away with before one of my neighbors decides to burn down my yard and be done with it.

It seems like everyone on the street has a different attitude towards mowing. My neighbor to one side has about as much grass in their entire lot as we have in our front yard, and they tend to mow at least three times for every one time that we do. Sometimes I'll see him out mowing literally two days in a row. Then our neighbors on the other side hire their mowing done by some guy who looks to be about undergrad age, and he does a very meticulous job, but only about as often as Liz and I do ours. Some people trim their sidewalks, others don't, there's one guy I frequently see out sweeping the street in front of their house.... which may be commendable except he just sweeps everything one house up or down the street.

Growing up in the boonies, and then college and lawschool in housing that came with other people to do the yard work, these past two years have been the first time in my life that my community at large has an interest in what yard work I do and how I do it. Sometimes I think I'm over sensitive to this... like I'm paranoid that all my neighbors are going to hate me if I don't mow as often as they do, or if I plant the wrong kind of flowers. Either way... all will be forgiven in a few months... we have the best tomato garden on the block.

mmmm breakfast

So I met with a client yesterday who insisted that the hotel she had stayed in the previous weekend had the most wonderful "incontinental" breakfast. ewww.


Another day under points yesterday, almost to a full week in a row :)

By far the worst thing I had yesterday was the Olive Garden breadsticks. I really intended not to have any, but they kept putting the dang things right in front of me. And once I had a taste of one it was down hill from there. Anyway, a breadstick is 3 points by itself, and I ended up having 3 of them. The meal I had was only 7 points! (apricot chicken with broccoli and asparagus, very tasty though the apricot was a little overly strong)

The other issue at lunch was that there was a small child who was absolutely screaming their head off the entire time we were there. I seemed to be the only person in the office (or in the restaurant for that matter) to be willing to just ignore it and enjoy my lunch. Everyone was talking about how stressful it made the meal and complaining, and other people (not in my group) applauded when the child's party left at the end of their meal (which was just rude, imho). Yes, the parents probably should have gotten a babysitter before going out to a nice restaurant with a child at that age, and yes, they probably should have given up and left more quickly... but it's a baby, babies cry, get over yourselves. Especially I thought it was odd the amount of whining done by those I know to be parents themselves. Shouldn't they be more or less used to baby screaming by now?

Though I guess the better way to look at it is that its a good sign that I will be able to keep calm when the baby inevitably throws a tantrum. Now, all I need to learn is how to make the child happy and stop crying :)

Monday, May 12, 2008

post weekend update

At work, so have to make this short for now, just didn't want anyone thinking I'd disappeared again :)

So I made it through the weekend on plan as far as I can tell. Saturday I had about 5 points left over. Sunday I didn't count actual points, but did keep a list of what we had to eat and I'd say I was about 8 points under give or take.

My mom apparently didn't believe me that everybody would be busy for mother's day brunch, so when we got to the restaurant she was very surprised at the crowd, and decided we would go home for lunch instead. This worked out well for me because I've gotten pretty good at fixing healthy stuff at home, less so at ordering it out. So we got some deli stuff and veggies and fairly healthy sub buns (Whole wheat, no HFCS, no Trans) and salad stuff. Then we spent the rainy mother's day playing on my parent's new wii (I suck at the bowling, but did quite well on the golf and ok on the tennis).

My worst item for the weekend was a diet coke cupcake (chocolate cake mix and cherry coke zero), because I also gave in to the temptation of the pre-packaged cream cheese frosting to put on top, which is just about the worst substance on earth. (and one of the best, taste-wise)

Today's biggest challenge is the office trip out to Olive Garden for lunch. OG's website really needs to have more nutritional info ;(